Emmi is napping beside me. We have had a delightful and quiet morning - just the two of us. I think we needed it. We played in the mirror, she explored my face, we played with toys, read books, made music, and ate noodles. We worked on understanding each other and I think we both are doing better with that. She decided she wasn't sure see wanted to nap...a strong willed but adorably cute girl. :) Good sense overcame her desire to forego her customary schedule. :)

Left to my own thoughts in a quiet hotel room, I started thinking about meeting each of my children. Nothing can prepare you for that moment (i'm sure it's similar with childbirth). Will they like you? Will they scream or cry or run away? Will you like them? Will you think they are cute? What will your reaction be? It's a little scary for all. We have had a different experience every time.

Calvin - came to us with a shy smile, sat on both of our laps, engaged and played with us. Was not especially cute with green dots on his shaved head but was completely adorable and cute in his own way. He loved both of us and was always excited to see us.

Patrick - disliked us immediately. :) Cried, screamed and wanted nothing to do with us or our things. He was won over in a matter of time but our initial meeting was tearful for all. He was ncredibly handsome despite the orphanage hair cut. And once he decided he liked us (a few days later) he was happy!

Titus - we knew his birthmom might change her mind and there were indicators that we might not be able to adopt him. I was afraid to see him because I knew I would fall in love. We entered the NICU to merg him - tiny, bruised, helpless, and immediately he was ours. 

Emmarie - scared, giant tears, bundled within an inch of her life. She let me hold her with only a little struggle. Settled, fell asleep, and woke up playful. Cute, heavier than we expected - then again, the layers... :) Many sad and scared tears but sought comfort from me. 

Each meeting was so different and each treasured in my heart. Such defining moments for our family but not determining moments. It doesn't matter if it goes how you imagine or how you hope - they are yours. The relationship grows from that point forward. 

Can't wait for our first picture as a family of 6!

1 comment:

Tracy Sanford said...

I enjoyed being part of your family meeting with Emmi. She will be such a blessing to you in the years to come. She is such a joy to be around.