6 Months

Dear Emmarie,

6 months ago you were placed in our arms. Precious girl, you cried your eyes out and then fell asleep on my shoulder. You were so scared and confused and my heart wept for you. Those first snuggles while you slept were amazing though - I couldn't believe I was holding you! My daughter, I had prayed for you for many months and longingly gazed at your photo - missing you before I even met you.

When you woke up, you decided that maybe we weren't so scary especially since we had snacks and toys. It was so fun to see your sweet smile sneak through. You were kind to the other children there and your mothering instinct was instantly evident as you graciously shared your snack with another scared little girl.

I can't believe it's been 6 months. Our mother and daughter relationship took a little while to start blooming but oh how I am loving seeing it deepen! We have so much fun together - teasing, laughing, tickling, doing hair, finding clothes, admiring shoes, painting nails, and sharing our own private jokes (yes, even at 2 you have quite the sense of humor). Emmi, I can't imagine life without you - your brothers adore you, you are Daddy's little girl, and you are the beautiful fourth child in our forever family. How thankful we are to be your parents. How thankful to be a part of God's story of your life. You have certainly amazed us.

6 months ago, our lives changed and we are so glad! I love you sweet baby girl - a forever love.

Love always and forever,



Today I am frustrated. Frustrated with the medical professionals we have trusted. We had a disappointing appointment with Emmi's ophthalmologist - we will be finding a new doctor asap! She had not even looked at the MRI report - the MRI she wrote the order for and we did 3 months ago. That is a complete deal breaker - not to mention the fact that she does not answer our questions, is not good with Emmi, and completely changed what she said last time (aggressive vs. conservative).

We also learned today that our developmental pediatrician (who we really like!) did not send the vaccine reports after titres and did not send any report after the MRI. We found out last week, that she left her practice and is working elsewhere in a different type of medical work.

FRUSTRATING all around!

Thankfully we have a fabulous pediatrician - she spent 15 minutes on the phone with me today. She listened and empathized and helped make a plan. She gave me referrals and personal references for ophthalmologists. She is having her nurses call and get information we need and we will reconvene next week to chat. I LOVE her.

It's been a long day. It makes me all the more grateful for the awesome doctors that have really been advocates for our family!

At the end of the day, we have these four, sweet blessings! They make me laugh and smile (and sometimes cry :)). I love them with all of my heart and we would do anything for them!



Building Trust

Emmi has been sick this weekend and it breaks my heart - this is the first real illness that she has had since coming home. It was clear when she first started feeling bad, that she didn't expect to be held and cuddled. I just can't imagine. Life has changed so much for her. We love her, we want to meet her needs but sometimes it's still hard for her to let us. Amazing how much must be unlearned from that fight-or-flight/independent attitude that is so common (and necessary) among orphans. Thankful (despite the whine and tears of the past few days) for the chance to show her again that we are here no matter what - it's all part of that unconditional love and part of building that trust.

What a sweet girl we are blessed to parent!

She is so pretty - even when she isn't smiling. :)
Funny girl! She has a fantastic sense of humor!
Mommy & Emmi - 4th of July!
Cutie pie.
Daddy & Emmi - 4th of July