A Year Ago

Last summer, we were in full adoption mode. Everything we did (almost) was related to it - we cut every expense we could think of (and felt guilty every time we spent any not-completely-necessary money), we worked as many hours and did whatever jobs we could, we filled out paperwork, and we waited. It took its toll - we were exhausted and stressed. I constantly battled God - struggling to know if we were doing the right thing. We were determined to work hard for this adoption - an adoption that we KNEW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was something God had called us to. 

She is SO FUNNY!

This summer, we have our delightful daughter - a precious gift from God - running around and keeping us busy. I'm enjoying this summer a lot more. :) But through it all, we saw the gracious hand of God. Over and over, He showed me that this adoption was not about me, it was about Him. He challenged my heart and humbled me. I was brought to tears more times than I can count. This journey was about so much more than adding a child to our family - it was about orphan care and awareness and trust and grace and mercy and humility and trust (yes, I said that twice). God showed us in no uncertain terms (it was actually incredibly amazing) that Emmarie was our child but it was a huge step of faith for us on the medical side of things. Today we stand in awe at the beautiful child we are privileged to call our daughter. 

One year later, I am glad to be on the flip side, thankful God called, and so thankful for the way He provided through so many people and so many means. Our desire is to pay that forward over the coming years. We were (and are) truly blessed. We have seen God in new ways and He not only called but He led and provided every step of the way. Our hearts failed, our faith was weak, but our God carried us through. He is faithful and He did not leave Emmi as an orphan - she is an orphan no more! That is a story that only He could write!

Beautiful Daughter.

These two have a remarkable and special bond - it melts my heart every time.

A Heart Full of Love

Some days I just have to pinch myself - four beautiful children who call me mom! Never in my wildest dreams did I know how beyond blessed I would be in this life. I look into each of their faces and feel privileged that God chose me - He brought us together. We may not share the same eyes or skin color or hair color or build or genetics but we share a love - a forever, stick together, heart kind of love. We certainly have hard days and my children have experienced loss and hurt and stress from hard beginnings that are tough to overcome (and that no child should experience), but we are unconditionally committed to one another. I watch each child experience life and I have noticed my tears are often near - joyful tears, sad tears, thankful tears, loving tears.

This week has been a favorite of mine - full of reading, swimming, playing outside, learning together, laughing, playing games and so much more. We truly love nothing more than to spend time together. I have happily sighed each evening, knowing that I have thoroughly enjoyed being their mom this week. It hasn't been perfect - we've had meltdowns and tempers flare and tears of hurt and unkindness but what championed through? Forgiveness, faith, fun, love and sweet dreams.

How thankful I am that God turned my heart to adoption when I was still a child myself. I had no idea what He would do with my desire and I stand in awe. These gifts. These children. What an amazing God. This is my dream - I wouldn't want it ANY other way.